The very thought of you makes my heart sing,
Like an April breeze on the wings of spring,
And you appear in all your splendor,
My one and only love.
there are a lot of things running inside my head now.. una.. fccy.
kailangan na itong ma-solve dahil kung hindi, baka lumala ang mga bagay bagay or kung palalagpasin lang 'to without doing anything about it..kung baga 'drop the subject' hindi naman ata tama.. kasi walang closure, walang nangyari, nakasakit lang ng iba at hindi nagkalinawanagan. anu bang gagawin ko? ano ba kailangan kong gawin? meron ba akong magagawa? paano? eh busy lahat ng tao.. too busy to talk about things. some might even want to avoid talking about it na kasi nakakapagod na for them (maybe lang).
this situation reminded me of something in my past..grabe! sa sobrang pagpapaalala ng past na 'to, napanaginipan ko pah! kagabi lang! i dreamt of a person na di ko akalain na hindi ko pa pala napapatawad. at sa dream ko, pinansin nya ako. sabi nya, ikaw hindi ka na namamansin ha! so ang kaplastikan ng beauty ko, i smiled and told her.. "hindi a! kamusta?" as in hindi ako ready na kausapin sya ng ganun na parang walang nangyari before. tapos sa dream ko i've completely forgiven her pero yung sumisigaw yung heart ko.. naks.. heart daw! na HINDI! hindi ko sya maforgive! hindi pa ako ready! sobra, until now kapag nakikita ko sya sa spas (believe it or not hindi sya student!) nasisira ang araw ko! and that was way back in elementary pa! geez! akala ko i forgave her na..kahit na hindi sya nag-apologize (syempre, ikaw ba naman magsorry sa student mo? yeah, she's not that kind of person! just my luck), hindi pa pala. i just wanted to think that i have pero in reality hindi pa pala.. or maybe forgiven but not forgotten. makes me think, ako ba mismo hindi ko pa na-fforgive un sarili ko? is there something i have to forgive myself with in that particular incident? kasi if iisipin ko, i did the right thing but the consequences were really tough! quite tough for an elementary student to handle! it's one of the 'nightmares' in my life i suppose. kasi given the chance na maulit yun, ggawin ko pa rin kung ano ang sa tingin ko ay tama..grabe, honesty's consequence is really something!
teka, lumayo ako sa usapan, i'm suppose to talk about fccy here.. oh well teka..continue ko na lang tomorrow.. tawag na ako at ako'y pinapatulog na! hay.. eto nanaman..mag-iisip nnman ako hanggang makatulog which is mga 3am pa siguro ang tulog ko khit ilang oras na ako nakahiga at nakatingin sa ceiling!
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