The very thought of you makes my heart sing,
Like an April breeze on the wings of spring,
And you appear in all your splendor,
My one and only love.
grabe! inaantok ako!
the need to sleep is on top of my list.
code 01: zzzz....
status : zzzz....
mood : zzzz....
report :
tulog......grabe talk about being sleepy! di ko lam kung dala lang pagka-bored kasi di naman pwede yung dahilan na galing ako sa laguna last night. kasi maaga naman akong umuwi mga 8:30pm nasa bahay naman na kami. oo nga pla.. may naisip ako na pwede i-kwento habang naghihintay ako ng work na ibibigay sa akin dito sa office.. last friday while i was waiting for my mom kasi sabay kami uuwi.. i did a very tanga thing! grabe it's so nakakasisi hehehe conio nnaman po hahaha.. dapat di muna ako umalis agad ng room kasi lam ko medyo matagal akong maghihintay kay mama sa ibaba so pinagod ko lang ang sarili ko di ba? la pa namang upuan dun! ay sus! tsaka at least kung maghintay man ako sa taas, may kasama pa ako.. kahit di kami masyadong nag-uusap grabe i appreciate the presence na..sobra na 'to.. since i started working, i learned to appreciate mere presence of people. actually, 'mere' is no longer 'mere', instead, it has become.. well, not exactly comforting.. but presence nonetheless. actually, hindi yun ang kwento ko.. although mas may sense pa yung nakwento ko sa itaas sa talagang ikkwento ko.hehehe.. nyway.. here goes.. habang nagsisisi ako at bumaba ako agad, naisip kong kaysa i beat myself up because of my stupidity, mag-iisip na lang ako ng ibang bagay na ikatutuwa ko.. so naisip kong, mag-isip ng code name para sa kanya.. hehehehehe... ang fun.. at sa sobrang loka loka ko.. mdyo napaptawa ko pati ang sarili ko sa sobrang kulit ng isip ko hehehe.. naisip ko yung 'ssch'..hehehehe i bet you're wondering what that means.. nakuha ko sya sa test na nasa email last friday! 'ssch' means...tada! strawberry short cake with honey!! hahaha ang sweet noh! tihihihihihi.. na-oobvious ang taong wala maisip na matino.. hehehe..
code 02 : from kalokohan to serious..
status : at the verge..
mood ; wala sa mood...
report :
nangako ako.. sabi ko hinding hindi ko sila bibiguin.. lalim ng word noh! i meant it when i said that last YC. Leadership pa lang.. dami nang trials.. it made me think a thousand times up until now kung it was the right decision for me to accept it.. patapos na ang term ko.. wala pa akong nagagawang matino.. at things might seem to be getting worse.. insecurities may be factors... but it's not the only and the most important factor. everytime ma-ddishearten ako.. lagi kong naiisip bakit ako? i mean... sa dinami-dami ng tao na pwedeng mailagay sa ganitong situation, bakit ako? this phrase or ewan ko kung sentence na nga ata siya..is really a question i keep on asking myself over and over again. i'm not asking God bakit ako pa binigyan nya ng isang burden..i'm asking Him, why choose me to serve you this way, why choose me over many others to be given this opportunity and responsibility eh isa lang akong ordinaryong tao... hindi rin ako isang paul or paula cheng, hindi ako isang honor student tulad ni joan, i'm not as young as jetsson is, nor am i creative like jja is, hindi ako isang magaling sa ganitong field, i'm not exactly the best singer in the groups i've joined before, i don't know how to play a musical instrument like omar, i am no leader. dati ko pa alam itong mga bagay na ito about myself. laging 'nagccounter thinking' ako or ewan ko kung yun din nga ang sasabihin ni God or ng ibang people.. na kaya nga ikaw kasi God chooses ordinary people..ang hirap paniwalaan minsan lalo na kung ang cgc crowd mo ay ganun..okay.. i think that was my id talking.. eto naman ang sagot ng aking other side hehehe...una, it was an opportunity, yes. but i have chosen to grab it. dun pa lang barado na ako! sabi ko i like what i'm doing, but i couldn't prove it, i continuously fail to prove it. siguro nga tamad ako, siguro nga i shouldn't have taken up a responsibility that i've doubted on taking on since the first time i was asked to... honestly, i really like what i'm doing, i only wish i have what it takes, the knowledge, the skill, the courage, the creativity, the attitude, and maybe even the heart... if i have these siguro..i'm half way okay.. ang iisipin ko na lang ay mems.. well, isa pa yun sa mahihirap gawin.. ewan... plus, nag-iiba ang na priorities ko.... pansin ko lang... i wanted to keep things balanced but the situation itself already not.. feeling ko pinagsisisihan na rin nya.. sana may magawa man lang ako sa situation ng min ko.. kahit papaano..
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