The very thought of you makes my heart sing,
Like an April breeze on the wings of spring,
And you appear in all your splendor,
My one and only love.
it's been a while since i last punched in some keys to write a real entry. ka-date daw haha! ako, magmamadre daw! haha! although it's too early for me to close my doors, hindi ko rin naman kasi masasabi. pero sa ngayon feeling ko wala pa akong isang oras sa loob pinapalabas na ako sa kumbento!!!!hehehehe. starting mga 2nd week of april ata wala na, hehe. things have changed. talagang nagbago. is it just me or...ewan! kasi i think minsan kahit kasama ko yung mga taong magugulo sa life ko hehehe (referrin' to close friends) hindi na ata ako ganun ka gulo. i feel like i'm a different person, or eto ba talaga yung ako? labo ko noh?! weird pa! hindi ko na yata kilala yung taong nakikita ko sa salamin, ibang iba. dami rin naman kasing nagbago kaya katakataka pa ba? gumagawa nanaman ako ng sarili kong mundo. masaya na ako dun sa 'jolly' me (hehehe sounds like jollibee!) anyway, yun nga, i'm a lot happier that way, kaysa naman yung 'ultra; shy type girl nung elementary. i want to prove a lot of things, but it seems like i'm not in the right situations for me to have a chance to prove them and do what i want. pero ba 'i want'? selfish noh? yeah, tuwing nagbblog ako, dun lang lumalabas ang selfish side ko. kailangan ko rin naman ng 'outlet' ayokong maloka noh! but at this point, i think i won't be surprised kung isa sa mga araw na ito maging bahay ko na ang mental. grabe! ang pangit kayang maging loner noh!!!!! it's fridgin' freaky at ewan ko pano ko pa mai-eexplain.
actually, inaantok nanaman ako dito. as usual. may nagbago na rin naman kahit papaano, pero i really feel bad. why, kasi i know how it feels to be in that place. and what's worse is that i couldn't do anything to help out, even worse--i seem to contribute quite well on why that's happening. bad trip di ba?!
kainis pati, sa bahay, things aren't going well. people are getting worse and the one thing that i think i should do seems to be the one thing that i can't do no matter how hard i try. minsan sabi ko suko na ako, ayoko na, lalo na kapag sinasagot ako ng pabalang ng bro ko (kahit minsan okay naman siya), kapag may nag-aaway sa bahay sobrang tagal na until now hindi pa sila okay... minsan gusto ko nang mag-give up. minsan gusto mong humingi ng help sa people na sa tingin mo makakatulong sa'yo tapos..maiinis ka lang kasi it's either la sila (minsan di naman nila fault) or minsan nagsasalita ka nga, hindi naman nakikinig at walang paki. bad trip ulit. grabe feeling ko kung hindi ako naging part ng FC ...baka tagal na akong nag-give up. teka, hindi na maganda 'tong pinasususulat ko. stop na saka na lang.
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