The very thought of you makes my heart sing,
Like an April breeze on the wings of spring,
And you appear in all your splendor,
My one and only love.
Sometimes you just have to take the fall---horrible and definitely excrutiating, fall. Worse of all?---you can't do anything about it. You'll start thinking and feeling that any form of prayer, effort and caution to avoid anything worse can happen, is just plain stupid and futile. And any boost of renewed hope could mean sinking further down or going deeper the abyss. It's a rather long phase of time when you're whole world crumbles and everything around you dies...slowly...and surely...A time when even the only flicker of life, hope, and joy you have left will be put off any minute---and you're scared..so scared that deep inside you, you're begging...screaming....crying out for help... Death? No, this isn't it yet. In fact, it's far worse than that--it's torture. Even more so because you're helpless. To others, I may not make any sense at all. Everything is in shambles...It's a time when my hold to sanity is too thin... There's no space left to care whether others understand what I'm writing down or thinking. It's that point when you want to just cry out and shout to the world--scream to the top of your lungs 'why?' 'i hate you ***!' 'You're so unfair!' 'Where are you?' 'I shouldn't have placed any hope on you!' and beg...'Somebody....save me!'
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