The very thought of you makes my heart sing,
Like an April breeze on the wings of spring,
And you appear in all your splendor,
My one and only love.
To Aerean:
You’re right, I’m probably in denial. A front that says I don’t need a special someone. You just don’t know how much I want to have one. A lot of reasons hinder me. Actually, no one sees me as a girlfriend material too – well I probably am not but I like who I am. Everything I say about it is true. I don’t need one. What I don’t say is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t want one. That part you miss out ‘coz I don’t say it out loud. I told you that I want to be treated as an equal too. Yet I keep the thought that although I would like to be treated as an equal, I would also like to treated as special – very special and being taken care of. I am not actually complicated, I just by nature possess dualities. Like in my preferences, I can go from classic and solemn to noisy rock, exciting and fun. You and a lot of people just need to see that but very few, if none, don’t. I like people’s attention only when they see and say out loud positive things about me. I’m afraid of getting too close to people ‘coz I’m afraid of getting hurt but in reality, all I want is to be so close to them. Okay, maybe I’m complicated. Probably people will earn my admiration if they’re able to read me and of course if I appreciate how beautiful a person they are.
I don’t understand yet, but I want to write this down, I don’t feel so good if I see your attention turned into other things especially on other people. I’m just selfish I guess and got used to your attention. Oh well I’ll just shrug it off, I won’t die without it. =)
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